This is a post that details a reply to a man who replied to one of my Couchsurfing (CS) requests to surf his couch. Apparently, he thought I needed lessons in appropriateness. No problem. I love to learn. But I tend to take advice from people I tend to feel are mentors. His response started with the phrase “a request start with a name” and then went on to tell me “your request is superficial” which I have to agree with. I rarely read CS profiles anymore. My response to him follows.

I spent hours and hours and hours reading profiles and trying to be a good CS member when I first started CS. I don’t do that anymore. It’s a waste of time. I don’t even get a response to half of the requests I send out. That’s not a problem for me. What I’ve found is that people who want to host, host. Most CS members are in CS because it fulfills a need for socializing, not because they travel extensively or want to meet travelers. If you look at the profiles, look at the number of friends versus references. Then look at the number of references from surfers. That number is usually far, far less than the number of friends or the number of references. These people don’t host as much as they socialize. Take yourself for example. You have lots of friends and references, but you have relatively few hosting references as a percentage of your friends and references. Further, when you do you only want money for it (airbnb). At least that’s what your profile says – WE CAN HOST YOU ONLY BY AIRBNB. You’re right, my request is superficial. That’s because I no longer spend hours and hours and hours to send out requests to people who don’t even take the time to send back a reply that says “Sorry. Good luck on your trip.” Again, I’ve found that people who host, host. Also, some people are very selective about who they host – they only host people like themselves. Some people rarely host, if at all. I’m looking for people who like to host. You’re obviously not one of those people. But, I don’t care. I send out requests to try and find people who host because they want to meet interesting people. I think I’m an interesting people. For example, I’ve never met anyone who has as much education as I have AND have been to as many countries as I have. At least I’m not aware that I’ve met anyone. I think that makes me interesting. I’m not saying it to brag, I’m only saying that it probably makes me more interesting than the average person. But people have to look at other people’s profile to find out what they are like. People who want to host will probably at least look at my profile. Most people never do. I can gauge that by looking at the number of profiles views versus the number of requests I send. I want to thank you for letting me know that I’m superficial. It’s my perception that you should know.